Lost love
by psychvampgrl
Summary: MAGOR SPOILER! If you haven't read all four books, DON"T READ THIS! Will Bella ever be the same, or will she forget Edward altogether?
1. Worries

I opened my eyes slowly to see Edward towering over me. Head pounding, I attempted to sit up, only to be pulled down again by gravity. "Are you okay?" He asked, concern coloring his tone.

"Bella?" He asked again when I didn't respond.

"What….happened?" I asked, confused. Why was I on the ground, underneath a pine tree?

"Oh Bella, you fell. Don't you remember?" He squinted, searching my chocolate eyes.

"I fell? Why was I….No I don't remember. Where did I fall from?" This wasn't making sense. Let's see, I was at the Cullen's house, and got a call….What was that about anyway?

"Jacob called, he said he was leaving. Rosalie said, 'Finally he's leaving the slut alone, no wonder he's a mutt.' And you got upset so you ran out here. Esme said to give you some space, so we did. You ran all the way here. You were so exhausted, yet you continued to climb that tree"-he pointed up to the pine tree I was under-"and you swayed. Alice saw you falling and I rushed over here. Right as I got here you hit the ground. Head first."

"God, no wonder my head hurts…" And I realized I was exhausted. I closed my eyes, and soon enough I was asleep again.

Later he took me to Carlisle to get my 'injury' as he put it, checked out. "Hmm…" Carlisle said thoughtfully. "I think you'll be fine. You must not have been that high up. And you don't remember anything after the phone call?"

I shook my head hesitantly.

"Let's go home, Edward. I'm tired."

"Sure, love. I can carry you…?" He suggested. I nodded, mumbling, "Carry me Romeo, back to my home." And then I fell asleep.

"Wake up, Bella. Bella!" Charlie's voice floated in from the hallway. I moaned and rolled over.

"I'll be down…eventually." My head hurt more than ever. Ugh. I leaned over and got my cell-phone. Dialing Edward's number I got up and chose my outfit.

"Hello, love. How are you feeling?" I smiled radiantly as his velvet voice calmed my nerves.

"Today I was thinking we could head to Port Angeles and check out the bookstore. What do you think?"

"Sure. I'll be there-"

"In fifteen minutes." I interrupted him. He chuckled.

"Yes, I'll be there in fifteen minutes."

I headed down the stairs and told Charlie my plans. I could almost hear him rolling his eyes as he groaned and sat down. Huffing he said, "Are you sure he's right for you?"

"Of course, Daddy dearest. He's perfectly wonderfully, romantically-"

"I"VE HEARD ENOUGH! You guys have a mushy gushy teenage crush, I _get_ it!" I started cackling.

"I was joking, silly." I said smiling. Well, halfway joking.

A soft knock came from the front room. I headed to let him in. "Hello, are you ready?"

"Yes." I replied.

On the way there, I managed to confuse myself more and more. Finaly I had to ask.

"Where was Jacob leaving to? Why would I run away from you guys like that?" He brushed his hand through my hair.

"Don't fret love. He just said he was leaving, a-and didn't plan on coming back anytime soon. But you know he will. Don't worry."

I winced as my head hurt more.

"What's wrong!?" He said, instantly concerned. "Are you okay?"

"It's just my head. It hurts-IS THAT JAKE!" I said pointing at a restaurant. A Jacob-like figure was sitting in front of the restaurant.

"Yeah, it is!" Edward exclaimed. "I wonder what he's doing..." I jumped out of the car and ran.

"Bella?" He said jumping up. "Bella...don't...come near me...please." I stopped in my tracks, alarmed.

"Jake, what's wrong?" I came closer anyway. "Why don't you want to see me?"

"It's not you...I'm stressed. I don't want to change too close to you."

"Oh." I said quietly. "Okay, well Edward and I are heading in the bookstore...see ya later...I guess." I tossed the conversation in my head for awhile, not really paying attention to the books.

"Bella, it's getting dark. We should get going..." I looked up, confused. But hadn't we just got here? Sure enough, it was dark outside.

I headed out the door, almost forgetting Edward in my dazed like state, and found myself going across the street. "Jake." I said, seeing him still there. "Why don't we talk?"

"No." He said, running off.

"JACOB! Oh come on..." I said, my voice cracking. He hated me, that was obvious. But _why?_


	2. The crash

EPOV

I thought about letting them have their space, but when Jacob started shaking I decided not to risk it. Then suddenly he ran off.

"JACOB! Come on..." Bella cried out, her voice cracking at the end. Tears ran down her cheeks as she sank to the ground.

"Bella, Bella, Bella. It's okay." I tried to comfort her. But how could I. Jacob had treated her so badly. And his thoughts hadn't been much better, so filled with hatred.

"Edward-you-don't-understand!" She said between sobs. "Jake-Jake-hates me, absolutely--HATES me! And he seemed-so up-upset!" This hurt, crying angel was worried about the person who had hurt her in the first place.

"Bella." I said again. "Don't talk that way. He doesn't hate you. He'll come to his senses, and be back in no time." Secretly, I hoped he'd never get the nerve to show his face here again.

So we headed back to her house. She headed up to her bedroom and I went home. My head spinning, I came back ten minutes lator to find that she left to head down to the reservation.

I couldn't go there so I headed back home. Alice was sitting in the front room with a blank stare on her face. "Alice!" I gasped as soon as I saw it. Bella driving, something jumping into the middle of the road, her swerving and-her luck the road being right by a cliff-crashing through the fence and slamming into the water. I didn't see what happened next, I was already gone.

Bella, Bella, Bella. Go faster! The voice in my shouted at me, as it did when Tyler almost hit her.

Then I saw her truck, heard her scream, and was frozen in place for a half-second as I watched it tip over the edge. It looked as if a huge hand had punched through the fence. Bella! The voice screamed at me. Then I came out of my mini-shock and ran off the edge. The whole truck was underwater now, the headlights the only things visible. I jumped in after her, but my weight didn't carry me down quick enough and the headlights were hardly visible when I crashed into the water. Part of the window had broken, filling it with water. When I finally got the door pried open she was unconcious, probably from the force of the truck hitting the water.

"Bella!" I shouted soundlessly as water filled my mouth. I grabbed her around the waste and pulled her above the water. Carlisle was standing by the shore (Luckily we weren't on La Push territory) and helped me get her into a position to empty her lungs of all the water. She coughed and spat the water out, gasping. But wouldn't open her eyes.

"She took quite a slam to her head." Carlisle said. "Let's get her home."

Once we got to our house he laid her on the couch and checked her head. He took a sharp intake of breath and I closed my eyes. His last thought echoing in my head. She's going into a coma. He had thought. Coma, coma, coma. It echoed.

"Oh god." I whispered. "When do you think she'll wake up?"

"I don't know." He answered, quietly.

*******************************************************************************************************************

A soft groan came from the other room.

"Bella!" I said, running in. (At human speed so as not to frighten her)

"What's going on?" She asked quietly. I smiled brightly. She was okay!

"You're okay, love. You just hit your head, is all." I reassured her. A very confused look came onto her face.

"Love? Did you just call me...WHERE AM I!?" She jerked her head around looking around the room. "Who are you!? Where's my mom!? Where'd the party go!?"

"You live with your dad now, Bella." I said skeptically. "What party?"

"THE DANCE!!!" She shrieked. Then she shivered. "Why's it so cold? I live in Arizona for crying out loud, and it's acting like Antartica."

"Bella! Don't you remember? Carlisle!!!" I shouted, panicked. She had to remember me. She...had to...

"Who's Carlisle!?" She said, near crying.

"He's a doctor, he's going to help you." I mean, I hope he can help you. I added silently.

"Bella! You're awake!" I shot him a panicked look. "What...?"

"I think she has amnesia. She remembers being in Arizona, at a dance, her mom..." I trailed off, letting Bella tell what her mom was doing.

"Was chaperoning." She finished. Her eyes wide and innocent. She was so confused.

"How old are you, Bella?" She moved here a little after her seventeenth birthday. She was eighteen now.

"I just turned seventeen yesterday." Of course, beginning of the year dance. It must have been September 14th in her mind.

"No, Bella. I think you do have amnesia. You live with your dad now, here in Forks Washinton, and you're eighteen."

She started sobbing. 


	3. Forgotten

"What are we going to tell Charlie? Poor Bella. It's all Jacob's fault!" Alice said, probably near sobbing.

"Car crash. Simple enough. Because obviously-" Carlisle cut off winking, Bella didn't know we were vampires, she may never be allowed to know again.-"we'll tell him what happened. She drove off the cliff, washed up on the shore, we found her, and brought her back here."

"He's going to be crushed." Alice pointed out.

"The human's gonna finally leave!?" Rosalie yelled out, ecstatic. "FINALLY! Really Edward, it doesn't matter. She doesn't love you, just like you wanted. You'll just have to get over it."

"Rosale." Carlisle sighed. "She will get her memory back eventually. We just might have to remind her about a few-" He was cut off by the shrill ring of the phone. I ran to it as he continued.

"Hello?" I asked. What time was it!? Crap.

"Where the hell is Bella? She was supposed to be back here an hour ago, I called the reservation and they said she never showed up. Oh god, please tell me she's with you! I'm about to call up a search par-"

"Charlie, calm down. She's with us. I think you better get over here though."

"Why?" He asked, panicked. Marriage, hurt, sick, PREGNANT! I'm gonna kill him! I swear it! His thoughts were audible through the phone. (At least to me)

"She-she was in a crash. We'll explain when you get here."

He hung up. I walked back in to Bella. She was asleep, but there were fresh tears on her cheeks. "Oh, Bella." I said stroking her hair. "And I thought I was the cause of your bad luck..." I sighed walking in to where Carlisle was.

"Would telling her we're vampires bring her back? Or freak her out?" I asked quietly. Just then Charlie slammed through the door.

"WHERE"S MY BABY! Where's my Bells!?" He shouted. I ran to him.

"Shh, she's sleeping in the other room."

"Tell me what happened."

"Okay." I started. "She was driving to La push, and swerved off the cliff, right through the fence and into the water. Carlisle and I were driving to the hospital for work reasons and heard her scream. By the time we got there the entire truck was under water. So we went down to get her out, and the truck was filled with water, and she was unconcious." He gasped and I went on.

"We brought her back here, and she just woke up a half hour ago. She's exhausted though. And she has amnesia. She thinks she just turned 17, that she's in Arizona, that she lives with Renee, and that she's at the beginning of the year dance."

"My, Bella, doesn't remember wanting to come live with me?" He asked, in shock.

"We're trying to get her memory back. Let's go wake her up, shall we?"

He nodded and we went to wake her up.

"Bella." Charlie said hoarsly. "Bells. It's your dad. Please wake up."

"Huh." She murmered. How much she reminds me of a kitten. "Oh, dad. Is that you?" She mumbled.

"Yeah, remember coming here to live with me?" He chided.

"No, I thought I was with mom. But I'm fine. Why can't I remember anything?"

"You have amnesia Bells. But we're gonna get your memory back...I promise. Oh Bella! I thought I'd lost you!" He said, kneeling down and hugging her.

"Oh, dad. So I really did come here to live with you, and these people didn't like, kidnap me or anything?" At that, Charlie was about to jump in and say, "Oh yes they did!" Anything to keep me away from her, but cut himself off.

"Yeah, and they didn't kidnap you, if it weren't for them. I. Would have lost you." He cut the sentence into many sentences as he forced the words out.

"WAIT!" We all stiffened as her face blanked for a second. "I remember moving here and meeting you guys! But I don't remember...you." She finished skeptically her gaze lingering on me. SHE DIDN"T REMEMBER ME!?

"You don't...!" Charlie said, turning giddy. She doesn't remember! SHE DOESN"T REMEMBER! He thought happily. Finally she'll stay away from him!

"I'm sorry. But if I did remember you, how? LIke, are you my friend? something more? Something less?"

I stormed out of the room up to my room and listened to the conversation.

"Bella. He's nothing-"

"Charlie! Lying isn't going to get her memory back. And she'll be mad at her once she remembers." Carlisle corrected.

"Okay. He was your boyfriend. You guys acted like something less-er-more I mean. Alice was your best friend, Carlisle was like a second dad, along with Esme being-"

"I remember everyone else. But he was my boyfriend? And I don't remember him? That's gotta be crushing."

"Yeah, you have no idea, love. NO idea." I said softly sitting on my couch. 


	4. Memories

EPOV

I sat there uselessly. Remembering the great times we had together. But maybe this was for the best.

Yeah! I thought almost happily. I left her once, but that almost got us both killed. But this time it doesn't have to be that way! She doesn't love me -wince- but that means she won't want to be immortal. She always said I was the only reason, and if that's true, her losing her memory is going to save her.

I hope.

BPOV

Edward, Edward. Nothing! Not a single memory. I thought angrily. Then a flashback came into my mind. It was very vague, with the quality of an old movie.

"No! This is about my soul, isn't it?" I heard myself shout furiously. It seemed to explode out of me, with a pleading ring in it. "Carlisle told me about that, and I don't care, Edward. I don't care! You can have my soul. I don't want it without you-it's yours already!"

He took a deep breath and stared, unseeingly, at the ground for a long moment. His mouth twisted the tiniest bit. When he finally looked up, his eyes were different, harder-like the liquid gold had frozen solid.

"Bella, I don't want you to come with me." So he wasn't my boyfriend. I had every right to hate him. But I couldn't bring myself to do so. I wanted him to be happy, for some reason, even as he ripped out my heart and stabbed my soul, I still wanted him to be happy.

"You...don't...want me?" I heard myself say. He didn't. That was why I couldn't remember him. Because I didn't love him. He didn't love me.

"No."

"Well, that changes things." Huh? My voice sounded so calm, so reasonable. Surely this hadn't had much effect on me in the first place. I must not have loved him back from the start. But then again, I sounded so desperate in the beginning. Maybe it was all just a longing to become immortal, and I was using the relationship to get that. But that didn't sound like something I'd do. Maybe I don't really know who I am.

"Of course," He started again. "I'll always love you...in a way. But what happened the other night made me realize that it's time for a change. Because I'm...tired of pretending to be something I'm not, Bella. I am not human. I've let this got on much too long, and I'm sorry for that." That's right Edward Backstabber, go ahead and turn the knife you've plunged into me. But what was he talking about- the other night?

Then another flashback.

Something-Edward-flew into me, sending me across the table and into broken crystal. Pain shot up my arm. I heard a loud growl. He had attacked me? He must of, or that's what it seems anyway. That must have been what happened the other night!

Flashback:

"Will you kiss me, Jacob?" I heard myself ask. My voice seemed older, so I liked Jacob now? Yes, that's the only logical explanation. It was freezing, and I was surrounded by snow. Jacob, a person I hadn't seen since I was five, was standing across from me. His eyes widened, then narrowed.

"You're bluffing." Why would I be, apperently I liked him. And I wouldn't ask unless I knew he liked me back.

"Kiss me, Jacob. Kiss me, and then come back." Come back? From what?

He stared at me, his eyes doubtful. This was all so confusing.

He rocked back and forth on his heels, and then lurched forward, closing the distance between us in three long strides.

I closed my eyes, and the flashback ended.

"Bella? Bella, are you okay?" A distant voice asked. A voice made of knives.

I glared him down and he looked shocked. But why should he be? He knows what he did.

"What's wrong?" He asked anxiously. "Did I say something...?"

"Like you don't know, Edward Backstabber!"

"What-"

"Why do you even care? I thought you were, 'tired of pretending' to be something you're not." I accused, using thick sarcasm.

"Oh Bella. I'm sorry for that. But you know why I had to say that! Don't you?"

"It's obvious. Because you wanted to end it between us. But I know who I love now. Apperently we've already kissed."

"Who!?"

"Jacob. Black." 


	5. Coming Back

EPOV

"Jacob. Black." She said, evilly.

JACOB! Come on! She wasn't saved by her memory if it was decieving her like that! She must have remembered me leaving, and her and Jacob's kiss two weeks ago. CRAP!

So, I thought grimly. She forgets her romance with a vampire, only to take up a romance with a werewolf.

"Bella! I left because I thought it was unsafe for me to be around you, because I thought I might accidently...kill you."

"No, why else would I have asked Jacob to kiss me!?"

"Because he said he'd kill himself if you didn't." Why was I defending myself? Because I love her. "And he left. A few hours before you crashed, you guys got in a fight."

"I don't believe you!" She said, sobbing.

"Don't cry. Please lo-Bella."

"You were going to call me love. I just don't understand! And I'm going by my memory, not what you tell me. You can stop the act now."

"There's no act Bella. You can think what you want. You'll get it eventually." I said getting up to leave.

"You're leaving me again." She huffed. "So that proves it."

"How, Bella? How? Just because I'm leaving and hoping you'll think about life long enough to regain your memory...that doesn't mean I don't love you. For as long as I live Bella, forever. Whichever comes first, I'll love you." I just wish you'd understand. I added silently.

"Edward..." She said quietly as I left.

What if she never gets her memory back? She won't remember me. She won't...love me.

I heard her gasp.

When I walked back in she was holding her head and I immediatly rushed to her side.

"Are you okay?" I asked, knowing she might get upset again.

"No. My head, it's like one of the worst migranes I've ever had!"

"Want me to get Carli-"

"Yes!"

I ran out of the room and searched for Carlisle. He was already on his way in, having heard what she'd said.

"Bella, where does it hurt?"

"Every -gasp- where!" She was gasping now, because of the pain.

BPOV

It felt as if a hammer was bashing the inside of my head. Edward, even though I was upset, had come to my rescue as soon as he saw I needed it.

"Edward." I whimpered reaching for his cold hand. Even though it was stone-hard, it still comforted me.

Then everything came back to me, the first kiss, the meadow, who really attacked, him coming back and explaining why he left, that first night, the proposal-THE PROPOSAL! Of course I still loved him, of course he still loved me!

"Edward, I'm so sorry!" I cried. The headache was fading as the memories came pouring in.

"Oh Bella! Does that mean you-"

"Remember?' I said cutting him off. "Of course."

He drew me into his arms and cradled me there. I was in heaven. Even with a headache.

"Did I really say I was in love with Jacob Black? Well, you can't blame me."

"And why not?"

"Because. Because you can't."

"Oh I love you Bella."

"Thanks. Thanks for standing with me even though I got all mean. Thanks for believing that I'd get my memory would come back. Thanks for saving me. Thanks for loving me. I love you too. Unconditionally."

We kissed. 


	6. Perfect

Walking through his meadow. Through the snow. Renesmee by my side. The ring on my finger. Her small hand in mine. Her other in Edward's. Her slender five year old body danced as she walked, even though she was only one and a half years of age. She sprang away from us and into the middle, snowflakes sticking to her bronze ringlets of hair.

There was a flash burn in my throat as I sensed nearby elks. I smiled at Edward and he stroked my cheek.

Everything was perfect. We'd gotten married, had a daughter, I was now a vampire, and Renesmee was immortal, and growing. Everything was perfect. Jacob was Renesmee's, Edward was mine, and the world was in balance. Finally. 


End file.
